


Destination Darkness

by Alice_Kingsly



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Drama, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Ghost Luke Skywalker, Force Ghost Yoda (Star Wars), Force Ghost(s), Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Love/Hate, Mind Manipulation, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Slow Burn, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-22 06:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16592291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alice_Kingsly/pseuds/Alice_Kingsly
Summary: When Rey creates a mental wall between Kylo and her, Ren begins a new form of war… Who is going to give up first?





	1. Parents

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Destination Darkness](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/432011) by Alice_Kingsly. 



> This fanfic is inspired by the song "No Fear" (The Rasmus), and its video with a sleepwalking girl.  
> The end of "Star Wars: The Last Jedi" is the beginning of the story.  
> P.S. I first wrote this fanfic in my native language. I'm translating it into English now, in case if someone likes the stories like that. Hope you'll like it!

When Rey creates a mental wall between Kylo and her, she believes that it won’t stand for too long. The Resistance is searching for a new base; they have no home, and it doesn’t help the situation. Besides, every day needs her life energy. Rey is hope for survivors, and a former scavenger has no time for relaxing. Keeping the mental wall needs her constant attention, and Rey feels exhausted in the end of every day.

At first it seems like the wall between them is getting thicker. Rey feels how Kylo is trying to get into her head; she feels how he’s touching this invisible, but dense barrier, searching for cracks. It scares her, but Rey drives fear away - her fear only simplifies Kylo’s problem.

She won’t give up, no matter how much it costs.

Therewith, she has Luke now. His ghost seems to be almost real, and the girl breathes a sigh of relief after seeing him for the first time. It looks like Luke isn’t even offended with Rey for taking his books. He’s happy about it now, and the Jedi Master continues teaching her, explaining the moments that Rey can’t understand.

Everything is getting better. Easier. The Resistance finally gets a new home. Luckily, their new planet doesn’t look like Jakku, and Rey spends hours outside, meditating and breathing fresh wet air. Luke’s lessons help Rey find her Force, and the mental barrier is getting stronger. She still can see Kylo’s attempts to break the wall, but Rey knows than Ren won’t be able to do anything. Rey doesn’t have doubts about her gift now, and Kylo knows that too. Just like Luke.

“The border between your minds is strong, you just need to get used to it. Don’t worry about the wall,” Luke praises his apprentice, giving Rey hope that she needs.

And this hope is so sweet because nobody knows what it costs Rey to keep her mind save from the Resistance’s main enemy.

“Do you visit him too?” Rey asks Luke one day.

There’s a wild glitter seen in Jedi’s eyes.

“What do you think?” he asks back.

One month passes by, then another one, and Rey stops feeling Kylo’s presence behind this invisible wall. It scares her a little, but she persuades herself to forget about fear, because fear is a step toward Kylo’s side.

Rey forgets that at night, when she lets herself to relax a little, her mental shield melts, and the wall between them is getting thin, transparent, almost mild by touch. Falling asleep, Rey forgets that her dreams can belong to someone else.

 

* * *

 

Rey’s mind whispers her that it’s unreal, but this whisper is too quiet to hear it.

She’s at home, on Jakku, inside of her old walker. Rey looks around and realizes that nothing has changed here since her departure. Or, maybe, she just has never left Jakku, that’s all? Rey doesn’t know the answer.

She touches the spinebarrell that has lost a few petals, then finds her old toy and finally notices thousands of scratches that count days of her living on Jakku. Rey inhales deeply. The air is hot. Sweat is dripping down her temple and chin, and then crossing her neck, leaving wet salty line. The wind has chapped her lips, and Rey gets metallic taste in her mouth taste along with sand in her throat. Yeah, she’s home…

Somebody knocks the door.

Rey turns and finally realizes that the room is filled with darkness. Why couldn’t she see that earlier? Rey is frowning, trying to remember something really important, but another knock on the door makes her forget about it. Maybe, it’s just a sand storm, and it’s trying to get inside of her house. Yeah, it explains the darkness and the closed door.

Rey feels how her anxiety is fading. Her heartbeat returns to normal.

A new knock, much stronger this time. No, not stronger – it’s more persistent. Rey stares at the door, trying to understand what’s going on.

And then someone screams out her name.

“Rey!”  this voice is almost hidden behind the rotten door and the sound of the wind. “Rey, we need you to open the door!”

_We?_ Rey’s heart misses a beat and begins pounding so hard that it’s almost painful.

 It can’t be…

 “Rey!” somebody cries again, and this voice is strained.

 Kylo said that her parents died, and Rey always knew it, she just didn’t want to accept the ugly truth, but…

“Rey, open the door!”

She bits her lip, and the metallic taste in her mouth is getting stronger. What if Kylo actually lied to her? Somehow Rey wants to believe that she still has parents and they’ve been searching for her all this time. She still wants to believe that she has hope.

“Rey!”

Who is that? She has no friends here. It can’t be… They can’t… they just can’t…

“Rey, open the door!”

What the heck! Rey starts running, keeping an eye on the door. The picture is blurring, but she keeps watching, as if she’s afraid to lose sight of it. It’s real, everything is real…

“Rey!”

What if it’s her parents? They’re back! Rey’s body is shaking. She keeps running, forgetting how small her room actually is. The distance between her and the door is turning into endless and dark corridor, but Rey has no time to think about it. Her mind is busy with thoughts about her parents.

“REY!”

“Mom!” she cries back. Rey doesn’t know why she’s pronouncing it, but she wants to say something back. Rey doesn’t know who’s waiting at the door, but her mind is painting blurred shapes that look so familiar.

“REY!!!”

“MOM!” Rey cries again after hearing another knock. This sound is so loud that she wants to cover her ears. She’s gripping with sweat, but Rey keeps running, trying to reach her destination.

Rey still can hear knocks when she runs to the door and finally opens it. Sand and hot air are slapping Rey in her face, and it’s almost knocking her down. Rey looks around, but doesn’t see anybody. The endless desert is surrounding her from all sides. There’s no one here.

Just her.

It brings tears to her eyes. Rey inhales deeply, trying to calm down, but it doesn’t help. She is standing here, leaning against the door and trying to persuade herself that she can’t cry. She needs to pull herself together. She must go inside and stop believing in fairytales.

But it doesn’t help. Rey is sobbing, wiping her tears with a sleeve of her dress. Her heart is pounding, and it seems that it can jump out of her chest…

  

* * *

 

… Rey wakes up, sitting up; her clothes sweaty, tears streaming down her face. She breathes heavily, trying to relax, trying to swallow sand’s taste that has stuck in her mouth. Here, in real world, air feels different, and it must wash away this sand, but it doesn’t help.

 Somewhere inside of her head Rey can hear Kylo’s quiet laugher.


	2. Hunger and thirst

There is a canteen at the Resistance’s new base where its members have a meal together, sharing one table and discussing all latest news. Rey is one of its first visitors: she appears here when the sky is still dim and the light lacks colors. Tables are almost empty, and every Rey’s step seems to be too loud.

She hasn’t fallen asleep after her nightmare. Rey doesn’t want to get angry and doesn’t want to admit her failure, so she just tries to pretend that nothing special has actually happened. It’s only a dream, after all…

Damn, of course, she is angry! Rey sighs, spreading the porridge over the plate. Kylo got inside of her head, examined her memories and combined them into a perfect nightmare, making Rey watch it. He hasn’t just looked inside of her soul. He spitted there, leaving the mud that it’s impossible to wash away.

Ben would have never done it to her.

Rey shivers, recalling his name. No, it wasn’t Ben. Ben Solo doesn’t exist anymore. Rey is shaking her head, surprised by her naivety. She has learned nothing after spending years on Jakku. Desperate and lonely, Rey had no chance to learn more about people, and she has to pay the price of her mistake now.

Still trying to calm down, Rey turns her attention to breakfast. It works, and she feels better soon. Rey speeds up, devouring the food with an abnormal speed. In the end she forgets about Kylo, and her nightmares, and her childhood traumas. She forgets about rules and etiquette, taking big hungry gulps and bites that stick in her mouth almost immediately.

She examines the last slice of bread in amazement, when somebody says:

“How’s about a second helping?”

Poe stands near, holding the tray in one hand and offering his slice of bread. He gives her a tired, but sincere smile.

Rey smiles back.

“No, please, don’t! It’s your portion!”

Poe chuckles, places his tray on the table and sits down.

“I have never met a person who can eat faster than you,” he confesses again.

The Resistance members have to follow very strict rules, but it seems like nothing can break Rey down after living life on Jakku. It’s still hard for the girl to get used to life where you get food on a regular basis.

Rey looks around. The canteen is still half empty, and pilots and technicians are its main visitors.

“Had a night flight operation?” she asks, noticing dark circles under Poe’s eyes.

He nods and examines her pale face.

“Can’t sleep?” he asks back.

She nods too and gives Poe an examining look. They aren’t friends, but Rey and Poe spend a lot of time together. Dameron isn’t like Finn, and, to be frank, he doesn’t look like the biggest part of Rey’s new friends. Finn is simple. He tried to fool her once, but Rey knows that Finn’s just a nice and impulsive boy who has become her sworn brother. They both are orphans in this horrible life, and they take care about each other, dividing their joy and pain in two. Ben… _Kylo_ … he’s complicated. They are like enemies, but he’s constantly confusing Rey with his sincerity, whatever cruel it really is. Kylo is an exposed wire, and he will kill you if you aren’t attentive.

Still, Rey knows what to expect from both of them. While Poe… he’s different. Dameron is so unpredictable, and sometimes it really baffles Rey. Poe isn’t afraid of improvising or taking a risk. He can add cutting remarks if it’s needed, but despite that stays charming, and it confuses Rey a lot. Poe isn’t good and isn’t bad, he’s nice, but almost dangerous. Yeah, Poe is different…

Dameron furrows his brow as if reading her mind and then asks:

“You just couldn’t sleep or… Somebody helped you avoid sleeping?”

Rey blushes. Affairs aren’t her story. Rey has no time to think about that, especially, when she’s trying to shield her mind from the person who once suggested her to rule the Galaxy together…

“No! I don’t… I mean…”

She doesn’t know what to say. Luckily, Poe notices her confusion and changes the subject quickly. The conversation ends on a good note: they’re joking and laughing, and Rey forgets about her nightmare and her anger.

Lights out. Rey sits on her bed, her legs crossed. She is thinking about discussing her recent problem with Luke, but Rey doesn’t want to do that. She doesn’t want to look weak in the Jedi Master’s eyes. And Rey doesn’t want to complain. Of course, Luke can always give her a good advice, but Rey feels that he  knows everything already.

So when the teacher asks Rey what bothers her, she just says:

“It’s nothing. I’m all right. I’m still holding the shield.”

Rey’s persuading herself that she’s capable of dealing with nightmares. She is strong, and Kylo won’t be able to ruin the mental wall. Rey is whispering to herself that she can keep the Resistance’s secrets.

Rey wonders what the next dream can bring, but nothing happens. She just sees fragments of days and numerous faces flashing before her eyes. She sees everything that surrounds her day after day, just like somebody’s fishing for something truly special.

 

* * *

 

 

Rey screws up her eyes, looking into rotten construction and examining it. There is a part inside of this ship that Unkar Plutt needs badly. Rey hates him, actually, but she can’t survive on Jakku without him, so the girl continues examining one section after another, searching for the part Plutt wants.

She manages to find something worthy by noon. After drinking all water Rey decides to stop her search for today. In the end, this old ship won’t fly away from her. The salvage has been rotting here for decades, and it’ll remain lying here tomorrow.

But Rey won’t be able to survive here without water.

After arriving at Niima Outpost, Rey polishes the salvage until it begins to shine. Even here, on Jakku, you need to make the parts salable. Rey suddenly grins, recalling Plutt’s nickname. _The Blobfish_. He can scare everyone away by his ugly face…

Rey joins the queue and waits for her turn patiently. The sun goes down. Rey feels her body heat, smells her sweat and tastes salt on her lips. The sand sticks in her teeth, making Rey grimace and swallow her saliva, trying to get rid of this taste.

“So, Sweetheart, what did you bring me today?” Plutt asks, trying to pretend that he isn’t interested in her salvage at all. His play is irritating, but Rey needs to be patient, and she stifles a sigh.

Unkar Platt examines the salvage for too long.

“It’s not the part that I have asked you to bring!” he cries suddenly.

Rey frowns.

“Are you kidding me? I brought the same part the day before yesterday and you said you wanted another one!” she says in amazement. Her voice is hoarse.

“And I say – you’re wrong!” Plutt answers and shuts the barred window.

Somebody is sighing behind Rey’s back.

“It’s unfair!” she cries, banging on the closed window. “I have found all what you wanted!”

How long is he going to ignore her? Anger is suffocating her. Rey wants to tell Plutt everything what she has been dreaming to say for ages, but soon Rey goes to pieces, and she just makes a step back. It seems like the Blobfish stole all her salvage. The noise behind Rey’s back is fading; the trade had come to its end. Rey looks at her palms and sees that she has scratched them severely.

She has no choice but returning home.

When she has almost reached her AT-AT, Rey thinks that everything isn’t that bad. Actually, there’s nothing to worry about: she still has a water supply and a half of the food portion she got yesterday. In the end, Plutt is a well-known scoundrel; nobody can fix that.

Sand sticks in her throat, and it’s getting harder to swallow it. The wind makes her eyes burn, but Rey has no tears. It’s a bad sign. Dehydration isn’t a joke.

Everything turns bad when Rey realizes that she has made a mistake. Her flask is empty. Rey turns it over, trying to drink a small drop of water, but it doesn’t work. The food is bad news too. Rey ate the full portion yesterday, she just forgot about it. She has no food. At all.

Rey examines the room once, twice, thrice, before she has to admit that she has nothing.

Rey is panicking. Her heart is pounding, and it’s so hard to calm it down. Her throat turns into steel tube filled with hot sand. Rey can’t swallow it anymore; she tastes no saliva in her mouth. She’s a stress prisoner, but her body doesn’t react to it properly. She can’t sweat.

The fog blurs her vision, and Rey grasps the edge of the table, trying to keep balance, her legs trembling. All what she can hear is her heartbeat, and it’s so loud that it drives her crazy.

Rey sits on the floor. She’s hallucinating, and Rey’s screwing her eyes, trying to recognize blurred shadows that live in her room. Every breath is a great achievement. Rey is so weak that she stops noticing pain in her stomach. She suddenly realizes: she will die here. What a lonely, pitiful scavenger…

 

* * *

 

… when Poe meets Rey in the canteen in the morning, he notices that girl doesn’t eat anything. She is only gulping down water.

He glances at dark circles under Rey’s eyes.

“Are you all right?”

She turns as if waking up and says quietly:

“Something like that.”

Rey doesn’t want to tell Poe that sand’s taste is still here. She can’t eat anything, and her thirst is so terrible that Rey can’t stop drinking water.

Rey’s so tired that she can’t even see Force ghosts who are watching the girl all this time.

“We need to interfere,” Luke feels Rey’s pain just like it’s his pain.

Unlike him, Yoda stays calm. He shakes his head.

“Give young Ben and Rey a chance we must. Friends they are not, not yet... Hard it is, to forget all resentments. A long way to go they have.”

Luke thinks that Yoda’s wrong, but he doesn’t say anything back.


End file.
